Spain: To be or not to be

First of all, I think SER is one of the worst restaurant names in recent history. To a Spanish-speaker, it seems like a word that non-Spanish-speakers should know, but plenty of people will have no clue that it means "to be." And even for those of us that do know, to be? What's the connection to food? Food is necessary for survival (being)? Even worse is the subtitle/expansion of SER: "simple. easy. real." This has total Rachael Ray, Martha Stewart, etc. connotations for me (google "simple easy real" and Martha Stewart's Real Simple magazine is the first finding. I don't have a major problem with Martha or Rachael (so long as I don't have to spend eternity on a desert island with them), but what do 10 Minute Meals/Eat Waffles for Any Meal of the Day have to do with restaurant-style Spanish cooking? On paper, SER can't quite decide whether it is homey abuela-style cooking or polished dining that merits $30 entrees. In practice, SER is a stylish restaurant that is striving to produce polished Spanish classics.

They were still working on the polish, but our experience indicated that, with some work, they might end up as a very decent restaurant. In their defense, we ate at SER mere weeks after they opened and I expect/hope that many glitches have been ironed out. We split a meat paella (one of our diners is allergic to shellfish....), suckling pig, and an order of grilled vegetables. If you have made paella at home, you will probably like SER's well enough, but will think: I can do this at home for a lot less than $48 (the dish is intended for two). Also, there wasn't quite enough meat to justify the price. I know they're not using Uncle Ben's and saffron is relatively costly, but .... come now, rice is not an expensive ingredient. The suckling pig was flavorful, but some bites were quite dry. For $64 (2-3 portions), I will pass on dry meat, thank you very much. Also, the pig only comes with potatoes. Now, they were very good potatoes, but for this kind of money, I HATE having to buy a side of vegetables. This isn't unique to SER, but it's my least favorite restaurant trend of all time. Be a chef, plan a composed dish with balanced flavors. A child can pair pork with french fries. This is why we ordered the grilled vegetables, which I found to be a little on the small side. This all sounds pretty whiney for food that was actually pretty good. If the prices were lower, I'd wouldn't mind a that some of the pork was dry, etc. High prices (even in very new restaurants) necessitate a better product. Period.

While the service was quite friendly, it was seriously amateurish. This in no way prevented us from having a good time and these are the kinds of kinks I imagine are gone by now, but even new waiters should know to bring (or offer) water and bread. Most every step of our meal seemed like a small struggle for the staff with the manager/owner having to step in - they didn't have a high chair for my toddler, didn't know how to carve the pork, how to pour the wine, etc. Again, we don't care about this kind of thing so long as we are being fed well, but ... a bit ridiculous in my opinion, for a restaurant charging this kind of money. There will always be issues in the beginning of a restaurant's life, but much of this revealed pour training, I think.

SER is in a bit of an odd spot on the edge of Ballston. There is very little free parking nearby. And I think it might be a little pricey for the area, especially at lunchtime. I'd probably go back for their happy hour special and I'd probably ride my bike to avoid paying for parking. Also of note, SER won the Ballston Business Improvement District's 2014 Restaurant Challenge, which means they have a year of free rent and a large interest-free loan. I don't know that they'd make it without such a large cushion. We'll see what happens....

SER
1110 N. Glebe Rd., Arlington

Sri Lanka: Number 2

While I did discover that the "ethnic" food situation in Berlin was not as bad as I had believed, or at least was more interesting, the Indian food situation really was quite grim. In almost seven years, I found a single really good Indian place and the majority were not just OK, but really very, very bad. This remembrance of terrible Indian food is a somewhat unfair to tell you how beyond thrilled we were to discover an amazing Sri Lankan restaurant at the end of our street, when we moved from Mitte to Schoenberg (the food improved overall, I think). I actually miss Raamson now -- and there is very little about the food situation in Berlin that is better than here in my not-so-humble opinion.

All of this is to say, that if I hadn't once had life-changingly good Sri Lankan food almost at my doorstep, I might have loved Shakthi. It was very good, and if we could have dined from the buffet -- set up in the dining room for a private party -- I might have a different opinion (it smelled amazing and made the longish wait for our food, torturous). No buffet for us; we split string hoppers and kith roti. They were both really good and really spicy, but they just weren't as good a the food we ate at Raamson. Almost but not quite. Dinner in Berlin isn't a regular option for most and I would recommend Shakthi, but would be more likely to return when the restaurant has the buffet open for all diners (weekend lunches?).

South Africa: I'd rather have peaches

Apartheid came to an end while I was in high school. I can't find anything to back up this story, but I remember being told that in years past, students had discovered that the cafeteria sold canned peaches from South Africa. This alternative school was governed by a town meeting and the town meeting voted to put an end to the South African peaches. This must have been before the US embargo? In any case, when Apartheid ended in 1994, a letter was drafted informing South Africa that we were once again willing to buy their peaches. I was never much for school cafeteria food and by high school was solidly in the bring-your-lunch camp, so I don't know if there were peaches post-1994 or if they were South African, let alone what kind of peaches, if any are available today. I can report, that, at least off-campus there is very little South African food to be found in this area. By chance, I discovered that Let's Meat on the Avenue in Del Ray sells Boerewors, the traditional South African sausage. I hurried over to get some for dinner.

I wish I hadn't. In the shop, they told me that they had just perfected the recipe. Sigh. We really, really didn't like them. Boerewors are typically grilled in South Africa as I understand it. It's February here, so we cooked ours in the fireplace. But still, they were just not great. I mean, nobody died, but...they were awfully livery (and I like liver) and the spices seemed off. I also have to take a few points for forming them in a standard sausage shape (like a bratwurst or Italian sausage link) rather than the coil that I have read is typical. Moreover, the casings weren't sufficiently stuffed, making them unappetizingly floppy. I would have let this go if they'd been delicious, but sitting here with this greasy, livery situation in my stomach ... they could have at least made them look right. Let's Meat on the Avenue (which is one of my least favorite shop names around) also sells Biltong or South African jerky and I wish I'd gotten that instead (LMOTA sells it, but don't make it themselves). I want to like this shop. Del Ray is adorable and they are all about humanely raised meat....but the couple of times I've been in there, I haven't been all that impressed (take that meat out of the plastic wrap for starters!).

Let's Meat on the Avenue
2403 Mount Vernon Avenue, Alexandria

Sierra Leone: All you ever wanted to learn about the measles, colonoscopies, and how to catch a serial killer

The television in the hole-in-the-wall that is Sumah's West African Restaurant and Carryout was blaring CNN. I was going to ask the waiter (who turned out to be Sumah himself) if he wouldn't mind turning it down a wee bit, but his friendly welcome made me bite my tongue. Samah asked if we'd eaten in his restaurant before and as we had not, brought us a plate with a spoonful of each dish from the menu. Everything was delicious, but after much deliberation (to the noisy tune of CNN's report on the killing of a Japanese hostage by ISIS, the ongoing measles outbreak and the death of Whitney Houston's daughter), we settled on eguisi (a stew made from leafy greens and ground pumpkin or melon seeds), peanut stew, and okra stew. I have to mention that the service at Sumah's is maybe the slowest I've ever had. As it happened, my friends and I were in no hurry and happy to have the chance to catch up, but we might have had tickets to the Howard Theater around the corner or plans later in the evening and I did not really get the feeling that it is possible to hurry things along at Sumah's. We waited a very long time for Sumah to take our order and a very, very, very long time for the food to come (this seemed particularly odd because we had already tasted the stews we ordered, so they must have been ready in the kitchen. Is there only one pot? one microwave?) and then a good long while to pay. All the while, CNN's measles story turned to Morgan Spurlock (who I once saw on the street in New York) getting a colonoscopy in Thailand, and then after we had finished eating and were trying very hard to pay, we got to watch almost all of How to Catch a Serial Killer. All at a pretty high decibel level.

In any case, after a long CNN-fueled wait, we were brought  a giant ball of fufu (this gluey cassava-based starch is a staple in Sierra Leone and other West African countries - I like it, but a little goes a long way). Our fufu sat there looking cold and lonely for several minutes and then we got a dish of rice. I'm don't personally need a lot of finery, but it did strike me as odd that all the food came in a tupperware or to-go containers. No matter, we finally got two of the three stews we'd ordered and were definitely ready to eat (our third stew came a while later). Under other circumstances, the loud tv, slow service, and lack of actual plates might have put me off this place, but the food is not only interesting, but very, very good and Sumah is a charmer (I'm sure he would have been happy to turn down the TV volume if I had asked). Somehow, West African food seems more different from the various cuisines that have been incorporated into mainstream American food. I can't quite say why Ethiopian or Thai food feels more "western" to me, but it does. I might not bring a picky friend to Sumah's, but it's a treat to remember how a single meal can offer you a window into another place.

1727 7th St., NW, DC

Serbia: Ambarf

Wow. It's hard to express how underwhelmed we were by Ambar. After all, the Washington Post's review is more than decent (I should have known better, as I find Tom Sietsema to be pretty consistently wrong). You know you've had a bad meal when the best part is the friendly busboy who tries to make friends with our toddler. I want to eat at his restaurant. Things started badly when we arrived at the admittedly off hour of 3:30ish and were told brunch was almost over so we could order in 4 minutes or come back at 5. Ummmmm ok. We were shown to a table with 2 seats (I assure you my toddler is visible and has been known to sit at restaurants and order food that we pay for with money). We weren't offered a high chair and there wasn't room for one either. He's a toddler, without a designated place to sit, he will stand on your pillows with his muddy sneakers. So there.

OK fine, people with small children should just stay home. The waiter was unhelpful and unfriendly and the food was downright bad. I wanted cevapcici because it pops up on so many Balkan menus. Remember our voyage to the Albanian Imbiss at the start of all this? And when we finally made it to the Islamic Cultural Center of the Bosnians of Berlin? I'd take either of those holes-in-the-wall over the dressed up hay hut full of Bottomless-Brunching Hill staffers. If this is how DC dining has improved since I lived on the Hill - no thank you. The dinner menu doesn't look terrible. The brunch menu just plain sucks. Waffles with nutella and strawberry have nothing to do with Serbia and doesn't belong on any menu in November. BLTs? Prosciutto omelets and sandwiches? A smear of ajar does not a Serbian dish make. None of this would matter if they served delicious food. My meat pie tasted like it had been sitting in the oven since brunch started. I don't know what it was supposed to be, but I do not exaggerate when I say that it seemed like something that one might find at a lame potluck brunch. It was a dried out strata with cheap sausage. It was greasy and dry and salty and not much else. My husband's Balkan Burger took ridiculously long to come out, but was a very little bit better only because the concept of using cevapcici to make a burger makes sense in this sort of restaurant. Made with good quality meat, garnished with ripe tomatoes and non-sad lettuce, with more than a whisper of sauce/cheese...the dish would be really good, if not really a burger. In reality, the meat was tough and more salty than flavorful. The lettuce and tomato were flavorless/purposeless and the sauce and cheese insufficient. Any remotely serious restaurant should not be serving oven fries that have been in a warming tray for hours. Also the website has been down a bunch. This is a Richard Sandoval restaurant, not some mom-and-pop place that can't figure out how to make a website. Amber was awful. Really, really awful. 

Senegal is on Fire

My husband jokes that my blog has killed most of the restaurants that I've visited. Not true: I can't be held accountable for the challenges of the restaurant industry, but it is the case that a few places I've visited have closed and a lot of places I've wanted to visit closed before I had the chance. Still, what happened when we visited Chez Dior took the cake. It took a long while for us to get around to going to Chez Dior, mostly because it's in Hyattsville, which is a bit of a hike from Chez Us, but last Sunday we decided to make the trek.  All was well - the toddler napped on the way there, we had no trouble finding the restaurant, and at first glance, Hyattsville seemed nicer/more interesting than I had expected. So we entered the restaurant and sat down. Literally minutes later - we hadn't even gotten menus or water or a hello from the establishment - several people came running out of the kitchen yelling "fire, call 911!" None of the other (Senegalese?) customers looked remotely troubled, but as responsible parents ... we grabbed our stuff and went back out to the street. One of the diners did mention that it was probably just an oven fire and would be out in no time. However, minutes later, ten - no exaggeration - fire trucks rolled up, sirens blazing. With the belief that once the fire department has been called, a restaurant can't reopen until the health department declares it safe, and our excited-by-all-the-woowoos-but-on-the-verge-of-fussiness/starvation toddler in tow, we decided that a Senegalese lunch was not in the cards and ate at Franklin's, which I am very sorry to report was not only not at all Senegalese, but also really ordinary and not very good. My husband had The Day After Thanksgiving sandwich, which can be a thing of beauty, but depends heavily on good gravy (at least if you are going to douse it in gravy, it does) and this gravy was pretty gluey and not very turkey-ey. I hate huge menus and I hate them even more when I am trying to choose something while wrangling a wriggly toddler. I ordered a sandwich with the ridiculous name of Open-Faced Mediterranean Vegetarian Flatbread Thing (I also hate ridiculously named menu items), which was oily and because my toddler's idea of cooking is literally dumping things (i.e., he gets to dump a cup of flour in the mixing bowl when we make bread), he could have made this because all they did was warm up an industrial piece of pita bread and dump some oily packages of cheap marinated artichokes, olives, sun-dried tomatoes, etc. on it. I will say that Franklin's is also a general store and we had a lot of fun poking around the store, especially the toy section.

So, while it pains me greatly, Hyattsville is just not a corner of the world I make it to very often. Maybe I'll find myself up there again and can update this review...but in case I don't, I'll be moving along to Serbia in the interest of keeping the ball rolling ....

From Russia without much love

We are used to restaurant chains these days (it seems there is a BLT-something in every town, no?), but one doesn't expect Moscow to be the originator. Mari Vanna, however, is a (relatively high-end) chain from Moscow and St. Petersburg (there are also branches in New York and L.A.). Despite a recent positive review in the Washington Post, my expectations were not set all that high (it is a chain and I'm not a huge Tom Sietsema fan). I have to say, though, that everything we ordered was solidly good. Most Russian food doesn't feature complex spicing or many tricky techniques, but that doesn't mean it can't be done badly and this was good food. We shared the cold eggplant rolls (a Georgian cousin of Italy's eggplant rolatini, with a garlicky walnut-cheese filling), mushroom blini, and potato vareniki (think: ravioli). Everything was good and filling - three appetizers plus the generous bread plate (which includes radishes, green onions, and salt and sunflower oil for dipping (not as good as olive oil, but when in Rome....)) left two diners very full. On the night we visited, Mari Vanna was having a beer festival (I don't quite see how cheap beer is a festival) - my German enjoyed his Russian beer, but I wasn't so thrilled with my Georgian wine (generally the case with Georgian wine in my experience, but I thought maybe in a more upscale place???). Overall, the food was good enough to make me willing to go back, especially in colder weather as the food is rather hearty.


What I didn't love about Mari Vanna was the ambiance. I found the place a little heavy on the country kitch, which doesn't come across as remotely authentic. Also, does anybody like Russian pop music? Mostly though, the staff was a little too authentic for me. I'm sure if I were on anybody's radar, I'd get flak for this (deservedly, I guess), but I am not a fan of the infamous surly Russian attitude. Our waitress was sporting this with a thin veneer of American manners, and I would personally prefer not to experience this element of Russian culture ever. The waitresses also sport these short calico numbers, which are just awful. Despite the solid food, I would probably walk a block or so to any number of equally good restaurants where my waitress is not an ice princess in a slutty Little House on the Prairie costume. A matter of opinion, I suppose (and not all that slutty by Russian standards, I know....), but this is my blog, so there you go. Maybe in winter, the uniforms are longer?